#34 - Creative Procrastination
some lines, haiku, and tiny people
Last week, I introduced a new episode of the SneakyArt Podcast. Check it out here. This week, I have a bunch of tiny people and some haiku. And this thing about procrastination and freedom and slavery below.
Creative Procrastination
In the recent newsletter, Amit Varma spoke about procrastination. Read here. The subject of procrastination is dear to me, so I vented on my note-taking app as the thoughts jumbled around.
Amit speaks about his procrastination in not getting the newsletter out more regularly. And this is a lovely topic because procrastination naturally loops in on itself. Every opinion on procrastination was formulated while procrastinating from some other task.
I often wonder about the roots of my procrastination. Try it yourself, preferably when there is a deadline looming. Ask yourself: Why do I procrastinate? Do I not see the cycle of self-harm? Have I not realized it pays to do things promptly? Have I not yet figured out the way I can actually get things done? Did I forget the joy of completing a to-do list on the day it was intended for?
If you do not come up with some nice answers, you will at least have spent some minutes in joyful avoidance of work. And, maybe, therein lies the answer: we procrastinate because it gives us so much joy. It is a joy at the cost of our own good, but no worse than a cigarette, or a third drink, or another episode of a TV show instead of sleeping on time, or 90% of the other activities of human life.
In "Notes from Underground", Fyodor Dostoyevsky's protagonist scoffs at the idea that any futuristic machine could structure and control human activity. This book, written in the 19th century, imagines a future where actions, motivations, cause, and effect, are pre-determined by data-driven algorithms. The protagonist imagines this future, and laughs at the people who believe that it is inevitable. Then, conceding that he knows so little that it is perhaps inevitable, he laughs at the idea that it could actually work. What man wants above all else, he says, is the idea of his own freedom. Sure, a machine could calculate our best interests for us. Sure, it could tell us precisely and correctly what that is in the short term, in the long term, in all the terms in between. But still, it would not actually work. Man will harm himself and others around him, if it means he can feel free. He will burn the world down if he thinks he is chained. See, the protagonist of Snowpiercer. See, revenge bedtime procrastination.
The operative term here is the idea of 'feeling free'. You can get away with many years of productive enslavement as long as you can convince the workers they are actually free. See, MBA consultants and lawyers and everyone that lives/works in Gurgaon (India).
In a Song of Ice and Fire, maybe Book 4, Tyrion Lannister is enslaved by a trader and made part of a menagerie of freaks and servants. Tyrion wonders why anyone would remain in that state, even though they are larger in number and could easily overpower the slavers. His companion-slaves tell him the reason is safety, warmth and food in an uncertain world. Crumbs from the table, yes, but regular crumbs you can rely upon.
So I don't know, Fyodor. Maybe you overestimated. Consistently, I am amazed at how much freedom people will trade for a few crumbs. They will give you their entire 20s and 30s. They will scratch their heads through their 40s wondering if they made a good decision, come to a hardened feel-good conclusion by their 50s, and happily enforce it on others through their 60s and 70s.
But maybe it is not right to feel this way about people. The world is an open auction. Everyone can trade their abilities for a take-home package. When you have big levers to create big leverage, it is only natural that you tweak the supply or demand and manipulate the numbers just a little. See, a global pandemic.
Maybe Dostoyevsky is right. Maybe we just aren't at the crest of this particular cycle of oppression and enslavement. People of my generation are cracking at the edges now, losing hair and sleep and weekends and holiday-time, as the responsibilities and liabilities of life mount upon them. They are sinking into quicksand, hoping to get at least one good selfie before they go under.
And that brings us to all that is left to us - a little feel-good procrastination. How sweet is the feeling of winning one hour out of a long day, to derive your own joy. Sweet, sweet freedom.
So what about my procrastination, me who does not have a boss or any goal set by anyone other than myself? It is less about freedom and more to do with cowardice. All creation, everything of value, lies out of the comfort zone. But outside the comfort zone, the floor is lava. It is perilous territory. Procrastination allows me to normalize the fear of the big task, to build up courage, and to acclimatize to my surroundings. In the hope that one day I will be able to do that big task. I think it works. It is also a strategy I use to do some other thing. Pitting one creative task against another is a good way to get at least one of them done. It has successfully led to me making comics when I wanted to write a novel, writing stories when I needed to draw a comic, sending emails when I needed to go out to draw, and go out to draw when I really needed to answer some emails. It is a desperate, pathetic way to get things done, and most creatives would agree it works beautifully.
How about you? What does your procrastination do for you?
Our Boxes Arrived Yesterday
Followers from my Instagram will note I shared a drawing of the service road outside our apartment. Down that road yesterday morning came a mighty truck, bearing our boxes full of books, and clothes, and the TV, and my art supplies. Lots of things.
To see the drawing and catch the timelapse video, visit here.
Nothing was damaged, the movers did a splendid job. The books are being put on shelves, and I am breathing more easily. I had been without them for 6 weeks, as we flew to Vancouver, quarantined, found an apartment, and then asked for our boxes to be sent to the new address. I missed them. I made a drawing just now about the mess that is currently my study. I love everything in this mess very much.
Haiku
Children are at play
Parents hop, skip, and jump too
Trying to catch up.
Tiny people with
Tiny legs, tiny hands, clothes -
Forever, in ink.
Imposing constraints upon your work, I believe, is a key to making important progress. This week, I recorded a conversation with a guest for the podcast, and we talked about how working with a single pen (a fude nib fountain pen in her case) forces us to confront our stylistic limitations and go deeper with that single tool. By forcing the mind to work within certain limits, you can dig up real gold. Read more about this tiny people drawing exercise, and the concept of good limits, here.
Last week, I went out to draw the Burrard St bridge. I had big plans for the page, but they were thwarted by sudden, cold winds. I made this half-drawing of half the bridge, and scrambled back homewards for warmth. But while I drew, I heard a sea-gull overhead. I saw it fight the mad winds, ascend and descend in the hope of catching a favorable current, flap madly, never stop, never give up, not even for a moment. It was a good lesson. More on that here.
Overhead, a bird
Flaps wings against gusty winds
Heads bowed, we go on.
More Lines
Among other things, my scanner has also arrived. This means prints will be available for sale very soon. More on that next week. It also means that I can share some beautiful lines from Vancouver…
Last week I attended part of a Zoom session on sports-writing (among other things) conducted by Amit Varma with Prem Panicker. Being on Pacific Time means I must be super early to attend most things on other timezones. Sigh. Here’s what I was able to catch.
That first quote is not by Joan Didion. I misremembered the name while scrambling to write and draw at the same time.
Okay, so that’s a lot of lines. I promised myself I would try to keep it brief at least every other newsletter post. But I fail miserably.
Next week, I will try again. I will share a detailed report of my experience with self-publishing (Spoiler: I love it and highly recommend it), find some new stories around town, and bring you a new podcast episode!
Thank you for your time and attention.
As good as ever, Nishant! I procrastinated reading about procrastination. And as you said, this time it was worth it! :)