The Extrovert Switch
Insider #104 with a lesson in not listening to myself.
Dear Insider,
[Update: Watch the video!]
I have a little secret. It is not much of a secret, in that I have never tried to keep it hidden. As an Insider, you may know already. But a lot of people are surprised when I tell them, and some even react with disbelief. So, I suppose it is a secret?
Anyway, here it is - I am very self-conscious around other people and will go a long way to avoid a conversation.
This week, I had to do something with which introverts around the world can relate. Depending on how good you are at it, and how experienced, it can be very easy or extremely difficult. Different people can do it for different lengths of time. And while it never gets easy, it does get easier to manage.
I think of it as flipping a switch in my mind - from Introvert to Extrovert Mode.
The SneakyArt (Insider) Post is written for paying subscribers and patrons of my work. Every Sunday, I offer a behind-the-scenes look at ongoing projects, share the best ideas from my creative journey, and continue my 2023 resolution to learn in public.
This week, I was at the 55th edition of PechaKucha Night Vancouver, a fun and informal event where different creatives are invited to share their work and inspirations in a flash presentation format.
🪫 Social Battery
The understanding is that we have a limited amount of energy for other people. Beyond a certain threshold, it is necessary to step away and ‘recharge’ in solitude.
Many listeners of the SneakyArt Podcast — and several guests! — are surprised when I share that I have a weak social battery. After recording long podcast conversations, I sometimes need 3-4 days to recharge fully, i.e. before I am ready to see or speak to other people.
So when Becki Chan, the founder of PechaKucha Night, contacted me to speak at the event, my first instinct was to turn her down.
But my first reaction is always a no, whenever anyone asks me to do something.
This is why I do not like to share my first reaction with others. It has taken me a lot of time to figure this out about myself. To understand the things my mind and body naturally lean into versus the situations they work hard to avoid.
It has taken me a lot of time to respect my own boundaries. To understand the things I will not do because I do not want to. And to understand the things I will do regardless of instincts because I must not retreat into my comfort zone.
Everything of value lies right outside my comfort zone. - Insider #65, 2 years ago.
🙌🏽 Because my first instinct is to say no, I immediately said yes.
My first instinct is one of self-preservation. And arguably that is a good thing. But the comfort zone can also be a coffin. And self-preservation is sometimes better suited for things that are dead. To live means to face the elements, to weather the forces that are too large for us, to change and be changed, to adapt and grow.
My first instinct will always stop me from doing things that are uncomfortable. But it is the job of the artist to grow, and push against the boundaries of their comfort zone. It is the artist’s job to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
🎯 Working Hard to Not-Prepare
I went out of my way to not-prepare for the event. We were required to submit our slides a week in advance. I threw together a bunch of drawings, in no particular order. I did not put any words in the presentation. I decided that I wanted to see only the drawings on a big screen. Words would only get in the way. I tried to not overthink it. Better to under-think, I said to myself.
Not-preparing is an important technique for not letting anxiety overpower me. I avoided thinking about what I would say.
Not-preparing is also an important technique for keeping it simple. I had an idea of what I wanted to say, but did not care to prescribe the exact words.
The day before, I thought about some good words to use. The next morning, I thought of some good sentences. Later in the afternoon, I considered which sentences I liked best.
I did not want to be too prescriptive because then my mind would lock into perfectionism. I wanted to leave no scope for perfectionism. With no script, I was free to think on my feet and go in any direction. In my experience, things work better this way.
So this is another cruel trick I play with my introverted self - thrusting it into uncomfortable positions and leaving it to figure a way out.
Writing every week has helped me become better at this. As I explained to a fellow presenter, I am in the business of regularly articulating myself and explaining my work.
And I am glad to share that it was … amazing! I went off-script, but it was fine. I forgot some of the good sentences, but instead discovered some new ones. I got many more laughs than I had expected. I met several wonderful people, before and after my talk. I learned some more things about this part of the world that I live in.
I did a very public thing even though I was really uncomfortable.
They will release a video of my talk soon. I can’t wait to share it with you but never actually watch it.
My talk was about how I found my way to SneakyArt after two degrees in Mechanical Engineering and half of a PhD in Neuroscience. I spoke about using a sketchbook to observe my complicated and beautiful urban environment. I shared the experience of drawing tiny people, and how it helps me appreciate the strangers who populate my world. In 400 seconds, I was able to share nearly 400 Tiny People.
Dear Insider, do you have an Extrovert Switch too? How does it fit into your life? How do you use it? Tell me about it, I would love to know.