Parenthood has been the single most radical transformation in my life and I keep writing poems about it, because there is not a single aspect of my being that hasn't been influenced by it. For me, as a mother of a mentally disabled child, that meant confronting my worst fears again and again, still trying to better myself: be more patient, be even more empathetic than before, open to life's curveballs and dealing with what is instead of what I'd wish there was. I am a flawed human, as all of us, and my daughter is a mirror. I know I'm not perfect, far from it, but I wake up each day trying to be good enough for her, for my son and our family. I guess letting go of this idea that things should be a certain way, and seizing the chances that present themselves to me to have a better day-to-day quality of life by turning to what has true meaning has been what's changed most. And letting go of people that are no good for us.
More courage to you, Eliza. Your children are lucky to have you with them. Rohan has my personality without my insecurities and flaws, and sometimes I think he is a mirror of who I was and who I can be again. Such a gift.
At the risk of sounding prosaic, parenthood definitely changed me. I'd always been a highly empathetic person, but somehow parenthood made it easier for me to access compassion.
"Maybe we need to believe in ecosystems again." Yes!
It's fascinating the parallel tracks our thought trains chug along on! My adult daughters (30&24) were posters on the wall fangirls, and I a total girl-dad by watching all the movies with them! The 24-year-old and I talk daily, and just this morning she was reflecting on having kids. She was the rational you, literally checking off the pro and con boxes. She agreed in principle it's a worthy goal, just getting there is the long bridge.
As far as transformative experiences, a friend and I were comparing our near-death experiences and I lost count at half a dozen. That kind of freaked me out - and now I am writing about some of those in today's post.
Hyped for your class - this post put me over the top - I’m in - got some freshly hatched double dragon twins 5.5 weeks old that need some drawing for all reasons above
*promptly forgets to use discount code at checkout
**snickers because unused discount codes are like trophies when it comes to offerings like yours bruddah
This is the best kind of enthusiasm, I'm glad to have you in the class Alex! And congratulations on the twins, you have a remarkable journey ahead and I am determined to arm you with the essential drawing skills. 🙏
With fellow pro/con crafting love from Kamakura Japan - our kidlist was lengthy and specific on the cons and vague and short on the pros but an exercise that helped prove something in its failure to convince us to follow logic - it’s worth asking how far adrift rationality has cast us from knowing what we really need at any given time
My kids are in their twenties now and parenting has been a rollercoaster ride I wouldn't exchange for anything. I wanted to make a non-parenting observation too, and thank Nishant for his "Me/Other Me" construct. It makes me feel more sane, since I've used it too and found it a great thinking tool.
I lived in Zen Buddhist temple with 60 other practitioners and priests for a few years while I studied with my teacher. It was physically grueling and mentally challenging. There was no escaping myself—everyone reflected myself back to me. The best and hardest thing I’ve done.
As I have just become a parent and am in my own matrasense (transitional phase into motherhood) this really hit home for me. We waited until we were “ready” my pregnancy and first few weeks postpartum were really tough and with my son in my arms I couldn’t imagine going back. It’s a transformation you can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t been through but those who have get it without you having to explain. It’s deep, it’s profound, and I’m SO glad I didn’t let rationality talk me out of it.
Parenthood has been the single most radical transformation in my life and I keep writing poems about it, because there is not a single aspect of my being that hasn't been influenced by it. For me, as a mother of a mentally disabled child, that meant confronting my worst fears again and again, still trying to better myself: be more patient, be even more empathetic than before, open to life's curveballs and dealing with what is instead of what I'd wish there was. I am a flawed human, as all of us, and my daughter is a mirror. I know I'm not perfect, far from it, but I wake up each day trying to be good enough for her, for my son and our family. I guess letting go of this idea that things should be a certain way, and seizing the chances that present themselves to me to have a better day-to-day quality of life by turning to what has true meaning has been what's changed most. And letting go of people that are no good for us.
More courage to you, Eliza. Your children are lucky to have you with them. Rohan has my personality without my insecurities and flaws, and sometimes I think he is a mirror of who I was and who I can be again. Such a gift.
This is beautiful. Best to you.
At the risk of sounding prosaic, parenthood definitely changed me. I'd always been a highly empathetic person, but somehow parenthood made it easier for me to access compassion.
"Maybe we need to believe in ecosystems again." Yes!
It compels you to de-center yourself from your own narrative!
Exactly!
It's fascinating the parallel tracks our thought trains chug along on! My adult daughters (30&24) were posters on the wall fangirls, and I a total girl-dad by watching all the movies with them! The 24-year-old and I talk daily, and just this morning she was reflecting on having kids. She was the rational you, literally checking off the pro and con boxes. She agreed in principle it's a worthy goal, just getting there is the long bridge.
As far as transformative experiences, a friend and I were comparing our near-death experiences and I lost count at half a dozen. That kind of freaked me out - and now I am writing about some of those in today's post.
thanks as always
The movies are certainly ... Something. But try the other show I linked to, it's absolutely hilarious.
Hyped for your class - this post put me over the top - I’m in - got some freshly hatched double dragon twins 5.5 weeks old that need some drawing for all reasons above
*promptly forgets to use discount code at checkout
**snickers because unused discount codes are like trophies when it comes to offerings like yours bruddah
This is the best kind of enthusiasm, I'm glad to have you in the class Alex! And congratulations on the twins, you have a remarkable journey ahead and I am determined to arm you with the essential drawing skills. 🙏
With fellow pro/con crafting love from Kamakura Japan - our kidlist was lengthy and specific on the cons and vague and short on the pros but an exercise that helped prove something in its failure to convince us to follow logic - it’s worth asking how far adrift rationality has cast us from knowing what we really need at any given time
My kids are in their twenties now and parenting has been a rollercoaster ride I wouldn't exchange for anything. I wanted to make a non-parenting observation too, and thank Nishant for his "Me/Other Me" construct. It makes me feel more sane, since I've used it too and found it a great thinking tool.
It's how I have some of my best conversations! 😅
I lived in Zen Buddhist temple with 60 other practitioners and priests for a few years while I studied with my teacher. It was physically grueling and mentally challenging. There was no escaping myself—everyone reflected myself back to me. The best and hardest thing I’ve done.
That is a beautiful realisation, Vicki.
As I have just become a parent and am in my own matrasense (transitional phase into motherhood) this really hit home for me. We waited until we were “ready” my pregnancy and first few weeks postpartum were really tough and with my son in my arms I couldn’t imagine going back. It’s a transformation you can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t been through but those who have get it without you having to explain. It’s deep, it’s profound, and I’m SO glad I didn’t let rationality talk me out of it.
I agree! It is impossible to explain. And all the trite, cheesy things parents used to say to us now make complete sense. 😅
Such profound reflections, Nishant 💜
Oh thank you so much, Natasha! ☺️☺️